What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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