is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize