I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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