I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
