Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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