AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
