My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
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