Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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