The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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