Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
you would pick up someone in the library
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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