i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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