I hate all girls vehemently.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize