sorry about calling you the devil all night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
