Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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