oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Randomize
