I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
