I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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