did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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