do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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