Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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