Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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