i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
