There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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