Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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