Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
