I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
