if only i could text you this smell
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Randomize
