Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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