Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
