and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
