hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
