and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
