Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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