Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I would ride that face into the sunset
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize