I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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