you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
