can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.