My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.