I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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