Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
