Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wanna passion pit in your ass
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I think your dad took our porno
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
