It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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