I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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