I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
