We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
