physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
