I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
