While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
