i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
