also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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