Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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