he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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