My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
