I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
