We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
