carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
