He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
