Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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