weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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