you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
