your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Randomize
