he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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