So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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