Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
